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  • Phebe Brako-Owusu, LMFT

On healing

We often have a sense of pride when we achieve the goals we set in therapy. That moment when we did ourselves not responding in the toxic manner we used to or engage those anxious thoughts we used to is always refreshing but can sometimes be trying. Even more trying is when we notice our growth and not others’. It’s hard when you’re putting in work and others seem to be stuck in the same unhealthy cycle and even try to suck you back in. It can be tough when you’re trying to heal and move forward.

As you heal, remember not everyone in your life is doing the work you are doing. Not everyone is going to therapy. Not everyone is learning the things you are learning. Not everyone is experiencing an awakening.

So set your expectations accordingly. Don’t be surprised when you encounter people in the same patterns as before. Be kind when you find those who are stuck in the same unhealthy places. Close the doors to the ones who try to undo your hard work. Not everyone can heal the way you do.


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